(This post was originally published on Heroes & Heartbreakers.)
Between Daenerys and Jon—Who’s really in charge?
It only took seven seasons, but Jon and Daenerys are finally together!
The two most lovable players in Game of Thrones had lots of shared screen time this season. It was exploding with sexual chemistry—um, I mean heavy eye-gazing.
They sure didn’t touch much. Until the last episode—phew!
It was a massive powerplay in every scene, and the big question the whole way was, who comes out on top?
The Meet-Cute
Their duel for dominance began in Daenerys throne room at Dragonstone. Daenerys, the Dragon Queen, wants Jon, the professed King of the North, to “bend the knee.” (I can’t blame her. I wouldn’t mind seeing him on his knees either.) Jon, however, is conspicuously quiet.
It takes him too long to pull himself together and speak up.
He stares at her like, “Damn, a woman in charge is HOT! I mean… White walkers. I’m here to talk about dead people. Keep it in your pants, man.”
Poor Jon. It’s been a long time since he’s gotten some. Years.
The bastard of Winterfell has never liked the yoke of power. He’s a modest character who in every scene folds his shoulders, stands sideways to her and constantly lowers his eyes to the ground. Daenerys by contrast—loves the power and wants it all. Her shoulders are always square, and she never lowers her eyes to him. Until later that is.
Jon likes it. He’s most comfortable with someone else in power—a true submissive. And since she loves being the dominant, they’re the perfect pairing.
If they can earn each other’s trust.
Jon refuses to submit to her—at least at this point. Mostly because he’s afraid of his people killing him for it… again.
But in the mean time, there’s the whole “Am I your prisoner?” he asks her. “Not yet,” according to her.
Date #1: In the cave
Jon needs her help and he learns how to impress her quick. Far more than Dario ever did with his flowers and attempts at romance. Jon appeals to Daenerys sense of justice. With his sad pleading eyes, he asks her to, “fight a common enemy together.”
His commitment to truth and justice—something they share in common—she finds more attractive than even his pretty face. The trust between them begins. But like any true dominant, she must get what she wants. “I will help… if you bend the knee.”
He’s so turned on by that, he’s desperate to hide it and has to force himself to remain stoic. But he’s won her over enough that she asks his advice on how to proceed, “How do I win this war? I’m losing.”
(OMG the eye-gazing, right? But he always looks away first.)
He understands her and appeals to her desire to be a great queen. “If you use your dragons to melt castles and burn cities, you’re just more of the same.”
She loves that he gets what she’s trying to do. She’s inherited some of the Targaryen ruthlessness, and he tempers her. He is the answer to balance her out.
Date #2: The Dragon Test
After she goes to battle and kicks ass without him, she introduces him to one of her dragons. It’s so a test: are you brave enough to handle my dragons? Are you brave enough to handle me?
He passes the test with flying colors, of course. Like we knew he would.
He questions her brutal methods of war, but rather than dismiss him like she would anyone else, she seeks to convince him and gain his approval. But like any true submissive, he’s really the one in control. He hasn’t given her permission yet to rule him. He’s withholding.
But her old friend, Sir Jorah shows up. And the hug—the look on Jon’s face.
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It’s a barely concealed “get your hands off my woman or I’ll cut your head off.” A glimpse of the dominant side that he’s been hiding—at least, in the realm of physical touch.
He’s Got To Play The Hero.
The look on Daenerys face when Jon says he’ll risk his life for their cause—it’s super hot to her. A mega turn-on of, “You would give your life for your people?” But she’s terrified too, like, “You’re the first person I’ve come to trust. Don’t leave me!”
He sees it and asserts a dominance for the first time, meeting her eyes full on. “With respect your grace, I don’t need your permission.“ But… he backs down, looking away and saying, ”I’m asking you to trust in a stranger.”
She drops her eyes from his. Only for a moment but it’s there—her submitting momentary power to him. She agrees to let him go beyond the wall.
Is it time for the L-bomb?
Tyrion suggests it to her, but she’s in denial. “He’s not in love with me.” Along with a, “He’s too little for me.” Riiight. A blatant she-doth-protest-too-much moment. She still hasn’t grasped, despite Jon’s size and his contrast to all the men she’s been with, how powerful a submissive like Jon can be.
Date #3: The White Walker Test
Beyond the wall, Jon jumps to calling for Danerys’s help so fast, it’s as though this was his plan all along. It’s his test for her, like, “I’m dead without you. Will you help?”
Her blind trust in him and the risk she takes in answering his call puts everything in jeopardy. She chooses to help Jon over her goal for the Iron Throne.
His eyes—when she flies to his rescue with her dragons—it’s a blatant, “I swear to the Lord of Light (that I don’t believe in) I fucking love you!”
She passes his test, with flying colors. Like we knew she would. She makes the ultimate sacrifice of one of her dragons to save him. For both of them, their willingness to fight to the death for their people is perhaps what they love most about each other.
When she has to leave him, it’s worse than her children dying, but she has to trust him to survive. She waits for him. She’s more grieved at possibly losing Jon than she is about losing her dragon. That she’s not bitter at him for causing her to lose a child—she has so fallen in love with him.
The Commitment
She waits by his bedside. He opens his eyes to her and is in shock that she’s there. That his first words are, “I’m sorry,” is so fucking sexy to her. If she wasn’t in love with him before, she is now. He understands how important her dragons are to her. He gets her. And she’s humbled before him for the first time—looking down while he holds her gaze unflinching—for the first time.
The eye-gazing is intense. Their mutual love, respect and trust realized. They even start setting relationship parameters: pet names, talk of children. She declares she will give him what he wants, even without his submission. When he gives it, his “My queen,” is basically code for I love you. She has her first moment ever of humility. “I hope I deserve it.” The circle of trust is complete.
She would totally jump his bones here if he weren’t recovering from almost freezing to death.
It’s a total missed “first kiss” moment, though the handholding comes close.
That she doesn’t kiss him is puzzling but telling. She may be politically the dominant, but physically… that’s a whole other story. She’s implying that she wants from him sexually what she’s had in her other relationships: his dominance.
His Screw Up
Jon going public with his bending the knee to Danerys is super hot to her. “OMG, when I get you alone… Except, there’s a ‘but’ cuz you cost us the war! Why do you have to be so damn honorable all the time?!”
But they get a private moment. And even a smile between them. Oo! They’re just full of firsts at this point.
She seems obsessed with making sure he knows she can’t have children, telling him for a second time. Their relationship is assured. It’s another opportunity where, if this were a romance, there’d be a mad make-out and probably some serious heavy petting in the Dragon Pit. But alas, it’s GoT and they are as stoic as ever. Their deepening trust is off the charts though with even an admittance of dependency.
The Love Scene
Her dominance in their political relationship is firmly established. He still defers to her in their decision to sail north together. But her trust in him is complete as she follows his advice without question.
Then… the Jon Snow ass moment.
Possibly the highlight of the season. (Alas there is no GIF because it’s too explicit… *sigh*)
(Note: I’ve chosen to be in denial of the whole incest thing. I’m clinging to the hope that Daenerys is not as closely related to Jon as they’re letting us think.)
Their eye gazing is no less intense in the lovemaking scene than it’s been all season. But it seems to say, given the emphasis especially for Daenerys on her not being able to have children, that he’s giving her what she thinks she can’t have. That even in their most intimate of moments, they’re doing what’s best for the realm and their people: making an heir for Daenerys and the Iron Throne.
Not to mention that expert flip by Jon to get Daenerys in her back. Asserting what we’ve known about her from previous seasons. Even though she wants dominance in political matters, when it comes to the bedroom politics, she wants Jon in charge.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the title of the book series, “A Song of Ice and Fire” combined with Melisandre’s quote early in the season about facilitating their meetup: “I’ve brought Ice and Fire together.” It implies the love affair between Jon and Daenerys is the true central story of the series.
Let’s just say, I have high hopes for a marriage next season—beneath the heart tree in the godswood at Winterfell, of course.
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Book 1: Stranger, a dark stalker romance
Book 2: Deceiver, a dark revenge romance
Book 3: Keeper, a dark captive romance